Hey, I’m Tyler I draw people badly… on purpose
I'm Tyler Lemermeyer, a Calgary illustrator with 15 years in the business and more than 20 murals and large-scale installations around the city. Derpy Portraits is what happens when I bring all that training to a party and use it for this instead.
Here's how it actually started. A friend was hunting for fresh party entertainment and pointed out I'd been drawing people in this particular style for years: cartoony, exaggerated to be silly, slightly unattractive on purpose, because that's where the funny lives. I call it derpy. I tried it at their Christmas party and it was a huge hit. Then I did another, and another. Every time, people have been thrilled to have me, which still surprises me a little.
When you sit in my chair, you get about five minutes of friendly chat, a little awkward silence, and hopefully, if I've done my job right, a few laughs. You don't get to see the drawing while it's happening. The surprise and the anticipation are part of the act. Everyone else gets to peek, though. Guests crowd around, look over my shoulder, and giggle about how big I've drawn your nose or your chin. Then comes your reveal, and the whole room is in on it together. The portrait itself is drawn live, in ink, one of a kind, and yours to keep. The reveal is the show. The portrait is just the evidence. And to be clear, the derp is affectionate. Funny, never mean. Your quirks get exaggerated because they're the best part of you, and everyone in the chair is in on the joke.
The business side, since planners ask: I'm punctual, self-contained, and need about as much space as a coat rack. No stage, no AV, no drama. The silly stays in the portraits where it belongs.
Think your event could use a little derp?
Pricing & Packages
Derp Lite
$500 CAD
2 hrs, ~24 portraits,
The warm-up act. Perfect for smaller gatherings, cocktail hours, and parties where Derpy is one delightful thing among several. Two hours is plenty for word to spread, a line to form, and your bravest guests to get gloriously derped.
Fully Derped
$700 CAD
3 hours, ~36 portraits
The sweet spot, and the one most events land on. Three hours gives guests time to discover what is happening, watch a few reveals, laugh at someone else first, and then decide they are ready. Ideal for corporate parties and weddings.
Derp De-luxe
$900 CAD
4 hours, ~48 portraits
For bigger rooms and longer nights. Conferences, large receptions, and holiday parties with a guest list that keeps going. A full evening of reveals, and nobody has to sprint to the chair before time runs out.
Big Derp Energy
$1,100 CAD
5 hours, ~60 portraits
Maximum derp. Built for festivals, Stampede parties, and high-volume events where the crowd just keeps coming. Five hours of nonstop reveals and a small mountain of keepsakes. Need even more? Extra hours are $200 each when booked in advance.
Every package includes
An original 5x7 portrait for every guest who sits, complete with a “Certificate of Derpenticity”
A reveal moment for every guest, because the surprise is the best part
Simple setup with a tiny footprint (about 6 by 7 feet)
No stage, microphone, AV, or power needed
How payment works
Your date is secured with payment in advance. Once you pay, the date is yours, and you won't have an invoice to deal with after the event.
Accepted payments: e-transfer, credit card, cash, cheque.
All package prices are plus GST.
Plans change. Your fee can be transferred once to a new date with reasonable notice.
Overtime & extras
Running long? Extra time is $180 per half hour when I am free to stay. Big Derp Energy bookings get the loyalty rate of $150 per half hour.
Branded cards or sleeves with your logo: $75 to $150
Travel outside Calgary: quoted by distance
Pets: yes, I draw them. Dogs, cats, parrots, calm lizards. Pet portraits are charged double and guaranteed half as good as the people ones.