Pricing Packages
Derp Lite
$500 CAD
2 hrs, ~24 portraits,
The warm-up act. Perfect for smaller gatherings, cocktail hours, and parties where Derpy is one delightful thing among several. Two hours is plenty for word to spread, a line to form, and your bravest guests to get gloriously derped.
Fully Derped
$700 CAD
3 hours, ~36 portraits
The sweet spot, and the one most events land on. Three hours gives guests time to discover what is happening, watch a few reveals, laugh at someone else first, and then decide they are ready. Ideal for corporate parties and weddings.
Derp De-luxe
$900 CAD
4 hours, ~48 portraits
For bigger rooms and longer nights. Conferences, large receptions, and holiday parties with a guest list that keeps going. A full evening of reveals, and nobody has to sprint to the chair before time runs out.
Big Derp Energy
$1,100 CAD
5 hours, ~60 portraits
Maximum derp. Built for festivals, Stampede parties, and high-volume events where the crowd just keeps coming. Five hours of nonstop reveals and a small mountain of keepsakes. Need even more? Extra hours are $200 each when booked in advance.
Every package includes
An original 5x7 portrait for every guest who sits, complete with a “Certificate of Derpenticity”
A reveal moment for every guest, because the surprise is the best part
Simple setup with a tiny footprint (about 6 by 7 feet)
No stage, microphone, AV, or power needed
How payment works
Your date is secured with payment in advance. Once you pay, the date is yours, and you won't have an invoice to deal with after the event.
Accepted payments: e-transfer, credit card, cash, cheque.
All package prices are plus GST.
Plans change. Your fee can be transferred once to a new date with reasonable notice.
Overtime & extras
Running long? Extra time is $180 per half hour when I am free to stay. Big Derp Energy bookings get the loyalty rate of $150 per half hour.
Branded cards or sleeves with your logo: $75 to $150
Travel outside Calgary: quoted by distance
Pets: yes, I draw them. Dogs, cats, parrots, calm lizards. Pet portraits are charged double and guaranteed half as good as the people ones.
Cancellation and rescheduling policy
Plans change. Here’s how cancellations, date changes, and refunds work for your Derpy Portraits booking.
Payment and cancellations
Full payment is required to secure your booking. No deposits, no payment plans, nothing else to keep track of.
Cancel 5 or more business days before your event and you get a full refund, minus any expenses I have already incurred for your event, such as travel, accommodations, or custom cards that have already been printed. Cancel within 5 business days of your event and the booking fee is non-refundable.
Rescheduling
You can reschedule once, and your new date must fall within 6 months of the original date. Asking 15 or more business days ahead gives us the best chance of finding you a spot, but the honest policy is this: if I can make it work, I'll make it work. Your payment transfers to the new date.
Outdoor events
Organizers must arrange a suitable indoor backup for outdoor events. Bad weather does not automatically qualify a booking for a refund or a free date change. The cancellation and rescheduling terms above still apply.
How to request a change
Please submit all cancellation and rescheduling requests by email. Notice is measured from the date your email is received.
Refunds will be issued to your original payment method or by e-transfer within five business days of cancellation. Your bank or payment provider may require additional processing time.
If I need to cancel
If I’m unable to fulfil your booking and need to cancel, you’ll receive a full refund of all payments, including setup, rescheduling, and custom card fees.